by Dan Goddard
(Peter’s betrayal and restoration, Part 1)
(Luke 22:14-32) (Mathew 26:33-35) (Luke 22:54-62) (John 21:15-17)
Jesus asked Peter twice. “Do you love (agapao) me”? This love speaks of devotion and brotherly love such as we share in the Body of Christ. But Peter replies: “You know that I love (phileo) you”! This love speaks of affection and intimate friendship.
So, the third time Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love (phileo) me”?
Peter is hurt and answers: “You know all things. You know that I love (phileo) you”!
Amazingly, Peter never asks Jesus to forgive him for betraying Him. How could this be? I believe that Peter was walking in self pity and rejection. Peter had bought the lie that Jesus was disappointed in him. Peter feared that Jesus would reject him if he asked for forgiveness, because of that lie. Now believing that Jesus was disappointed in him; Peter in turn came full circle and was disappointed with Jesus. Peter chose to pretend that nothing had happened, rather than risk deeper wounding if Jesus rejected him. For this reason Jesus had to touch both Peter’s wound and the lie that he believed in order to restore him.
Each time that Jesus tells Peter to “feed His lambs” and “take care of His sheep” He is really saying: “Peter, I still believe in you. I am not and never was disappointed in you. Peter, return to your calling and ministry”! In doing this, Jesus heals Peter’s wounds by breaking the lie that He was disappointed in him.
** Three times Jesus clearly said: “Peter, I am not disappointed in you”.
** (Luke 22:31-32) – Jesus knew all along that Peter would betray Him. He also knew that Peter would believe a lie and had a plan from the beginning to restore him.
Father God is not disappointed in us! (Part 2)
As a child my father was often disappointed in my behavior and performance. I tried hard to earn his approval and lived a great deal of rejection as a result. All my life I had carried an unhealed wound in that specific area, and was unaware of it. Then the day came when God took me aside with him, to show me many things and to bring a deeper healing of life’s hurts to my heart. The way that He did this was by closing most doors to my ministry. This went on for several months. I knew and accepted that I was in a time of restoration to receive a deeper impartation of Fathers heart. However; as the months passed I became frustrated, aggressive, less passionate and less disciplined. I knew by experience that some thing was wrong in my heart when this happened. So I took the afternoon alone in my basement, to just sit in God’s presence, ask Him questions and listen to His heart.
The following are the questions that I asked God and the answers that He gave me.
Question # 1: “Are you disappointed in me? Is that why you have closed so many doors to my ministry”?
Answer # 1: “No! I am not disappointed in you! To be disappointed in someone is actually a selfish sentiment. In other words, you expect something of someone and are upset when you do not get it. I am God your Father. I do not have expectations of you, because I already know the entirety of your life. I do not need something from you because I am complete in myself.
Question # 2: Do I still live from an orphan heart, as a slave under the law, rather than your son under the promise?
Answer # 2: “Yes you are trying to earn my favor and affection by good behavior, discipline in prayer, bible study, fasting and a sacrificial lifestyle.
You long for deeper intimacy, revelations, supernatural manifestations, signs and wonders, yet you believe that you are being punished because you are not experiencing My Glory and Presence as you long to”.
Question # 3: “Is my growing frustration caused by a lie that I believe about my self and about you”?
Answer # 3: Yes you are frustrated because you believe that you are not spiritual enough for Me to allow you to experience My Glory as you long to.”
Question # 4: “Are you permitting me to live this frustration so that I will become aware of my need for freedom and healing in my heart”
Answer # 4: “Yes I am allowing you to live this frustration, because I want you to be dissatisfied with relating to Me as a Master instead of your loving Father”.
Question # 5: “What is my responsibility to be set free from my orphan ways”?
Answer # 5: You must forgive your father for teaching you to work for approval and significance. You must also forgive your father for not giving you the love, time and affirmation that every child needs to be secure in their identity”.
** I had believed a lie that Father God was disappointed in my performance and had given up on me. Believing this lie had caused me to be disappointed in God as my Father, and then give up hope.
All the longings that I carried to see His Glory and Power displayed on earth were initiated by Him in my heart in the first place.
** Father God would not fulfill my deepest longings while I was still relating to him as a slave to a master. If He did,
I would have thought that He was blessing me as a reward for my hard work, rather than a Father blessing His son out of love.