by Lupe King
August 8, 2010
I received this painting entitled “New Horizons” during my personal time with God, it had been about 3 months or so since I had been feeling out of sync with the Holy Spirit. As I sat and poured out my heart out to The Lover of My Soul, He took me on a spiritual journey.
As I sat on a park bench facing the ocean, I cried out, I said, “Father I long to go deep into Your very heart, I miss feeling the cadence of Your heart, I feel I’m mis-stepping with Your heart beat, like a dancer that cannot get the beat no matter how hard I try, while I do hear the beat, my feet do not seem to be able to follow, my walk Father is off-key. Father, I long to go deep into the waters of Your Spirit. Teach me Father, show me where I have messed up, and show me where I have let anything in that is keeping me from You.
The whole time He ministered to me the tears fell.
The Lord responded in my heart, I felt Him say, “My daughter you have so much pain inside of you, go into the waters of My Spirit.”
I saw myself go into the ocean; I felt the coolness, the soothing, upon my spirit, mind, and body. He said, “Go deeper, as you go deeper, let go of all that ails you, heartbreaks over broken friendships, family heartbreaks, worries, concerns, your church and all the goings-on there, ministry with children, old wounds, new wounds, fears, all the good, all the bad, and all the ugly.”
This I did as I went deeper with each letting-go. It was as if I was being allowed by Father to grieve those that I had come to love in ministry that had gone or moved on for whatever reason and those that for whatever reason I was having the inability to bond with. I was feeling with His heart and it devastated me.
I came to repentance with a brokenness I had not felt in quite a while, I saw places in my heart and spirit where I had ceased to feel with His heart and was feeling with my own. I found places where I needed to do more forgiving over past hurts, and places where I had ceased to honor God and was honoring myself through acting out of my own heart’s desire for the Kingdom of God rather than the desires He had for His kingdom. Deceit, pride and confusion had come in and took advantage of all the unhealed wounds that were there, I felt I was out of step with the cadence of His heart, because I was.
I cried over ministry, the many seeds planted that had not taken root and I cried out for the sowers and the reapers, the tired and the burned out servants of God. I felt I had done my best in sowing His seeds but did not understand why they had not taken root, this is the parable that He gave me:
There was once a farmer that wished to plant a garden, the soil had never been planted in, it needed to be turned up and needed to be de-weeded and any rocks found needed to be cast out of the soil, as well as any old roots that may have been there from before lest it impede the growth of the seeds, the soil required much watering, which the farmer did before sowing the seeds, and then the seeds were sown. All was as perfect as it could be considering all the work of the farmer who had worked many, many hours day in and day out. The farmer was called out of town for a time, as he dealt with business elsewhere, before He left he paid a great price to the workers to tend the new soil and water it as often as necessary. The workers all having their own personal gardens to tend to failed to de-weed and water the garden as well and as often as needed. They came and did their jobs every once in a while or whatever time they had left over after tending their own personal gardens, but it was not enough and the farmer’s garden suffered.
When the farmer arrived and saw his seedlings failing He wept, indeed they were in the process of drying out and many had died, all the work he had done was unappreciated and unacknowledged by those he had left in authority, and so it is with those that get witnessed to and then due to the movement of the Spirit, accept Christ, then often times the workers left to tend them, water and feed them, are drawn away by their own personal situations in life and many times unknowingly, fail to tend to those that have been entrusted to their care and like the seedlings eventually fail to thrive and grow.
This is a hard lesson to learn. For those that do not understand this parable, here is the translation:
The Farmer is God the Father, the garden is the world, the soil that has never been planted in, is the lives of those that have never known Christ.
The weeds, the rocks, and the old roots are the pain, the situations, the hardships, and all the things that are not right in their lives due to Godless environments in which they have had to grow up in and survive.
The de-weeding speaks of coming alongside each new Christian’s side and helping them experience God’s unconditional love for them, the mercy, and the grace.
Casting out the rocks speaks of helping them through the rough times of spiritual growth, as they step out of the hardness of the world and healing manifests itself as they confront the pain, anger, injustice and sorrow of the past.
The consistent watering speaks of continually giving them Living Water, Jesus, via His Word through His Spirit and fellowshipping with them.
The stages of tending the garden are the stages of growth in each new Christian’s life, the consistency of the delicate care, the selflessness, and the deliberate unconditional love that is required to Shepard such devastated hearts.
The workers entrusted to “take care” of the garden, is each and every child of God that has ever led anyone to salvation and through lack of consistent “checking in” with Father, does not step fully into what God has required of them, often times unknowingly.
Often times we busy ourselves with things of God’s kingdom not realizing we are listening to our own heart’s desires for His kingdom instead of His. To know the difference requires His supernatural wisdom and discernment, the prerequisite here is a daily persistent, consistent, deep, and intimate relationship and communication with the Farmer himself.
God has called us to be a responsible people as He Himself has mirrored. May we all, with great humility and brokenness, seek His face in confession and repentance over the gardens we have been left in charge of and have failed, for whatever reason, to continually nurture and feed each and every newborn He has entrusted to our care.
I saw a beautiful heart with a brown cross in its center start to take form and from it came a blazing sun (SON). I felt Father say, “As My Children,” mistakes are made unknowingly, because of the lack of MY Holy insight and some times due to the selfishness of the flesh (always remember, you are human), but it is never too late to begin again…My conviction always brings about repentance, confession, and forgiveness. Indeed it is hard and painful when realization and revelation come and the flesh is exposed, but it is only then that I am (I AM) able to come and teach you MY Way.”
I saw the heart begin to take on pulsating color of orange in its center, a red aura formed, then a lighter shade of pink and then an awesome shade of light blue.
The heart stands for the heart of repentance that we must all have in order to gain access to forgiveness. The cross in the center speaks of humility, for there to be obedience, we must first cultivate humility. Without humility there is “no’ obedience and without obedience there is no forgiveness…without forgiveness, we cannot see with eyes of faith and our vision is obscured, thus we fail to learn from our mistakes and continue to see through scaled eyes, moving forward and cultivating the selfish nature of the flesh thus repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
The sun (SON) in the center of the cross speaks of the awesome work of the atonement in each of our individual lives, even if we are those sent forth to watch over a flock, or flocks, we are still human and not beyond reproach by our Father, yet, we are forgiven! ‘Greater is He who is within us, than he who is in the world’!
Blue – revelation (Eyes to See)
Red – The atonement via the blood of Christ
Pink – Compassion
Orange – Perseverance, endurance
Yellow – Hope
Brown – humility
Black (the outline of the cross) our sins for which Christ died to atone.